Here's an experiment with the Limerick form. In this game (and this one only) it is permissible for players to contribute more than one line each to each limerick, just to see if we can increase the level of coherence in this much-loved form as practised in the Morniverse. Everything else is the same as normal... Take it away!
Marc - …anyone having a better (or wetter?) suggestion?
Prince Andrews statement after the Fastnet-race 1985 as he (still somewhat seasick and with a hammering hangover) met with Fergie in Cowes, Isle of Wight (I was there so I know):
Last night as I felt a lot better
I swore to employ a yacht wetter
When her pantaloons got
An embarrassing spot
I knew that I just could not get her
Marc -
Back to basics, romantic setting, 'Red sails in the sunset...'
While sailing along in the breeze,
Wind steady and life is at ease,
irach -
As the sails bulge, I kiss her...
Mills and Boone soppy limericks?
irach -
I whisper, "I miss yer"
Phil -
She pukes and goes weak at the knees
I live as a modest young maid
Marc -
Drink tea while I wait to get laid
And I'm hoping one night
irach -
Not to be so uptight
With my saucy Aussie from Ad'laide
Marc -
Dear Chalky, I think that you're mad,
offended, and that makes me sad,
Chalky -
Dear Marc, there's a rumour
You've no sense of humour
What's more - you're nowt but a lad :-)
Projoy -
I frequently eat Parma ham
With lashings of ketchup and jam
Raak -
For dessert I partake
Of fried pumpkin and hake
Chalky -
No wonder I look like Saddam
I love a nice fragrant Thai dish
Projoy -
It's my very best favourite wish
To dine on Pad Thai
irach -
And sip on a Mai Tai
While savouring galangal fish
Phil -
My armpits are starting to smell
My feet are quite rancid as well
Marc -
My toes has turned lose
They're stuck in my shoes
Botherer -
I'm blaming this hot, humid spell
I'm off now to get my car mended
Projoy -
The bonnet has somehow got bended
The fog lights are smasht
irach -
My rear fender is gashed
All thanks to my being rear-ended
Tuj -
If I had more money, and time
irach -
I would give greater thought to this rhyme
As it turns out I don't
Raak -
And so therefore I won't
Try to do more than dash off this line.
Tuj -
As darkness slides down o'er the hills
Darren -
I set up my illegal stills
The moonshine I make
Raak -
I ship over the lake
And sell by the old disused mills.
Chalky -
We need to be true to the cause
Projoy -
And do duty without any pause
Nor thought of the self
Raak -
Or of grasping for pelf
Let us march to the drumbeat of wars!
Marc -
Last night he went out to hunt beaver
Just armed with a dreadful meat cleaver
Kim -
He arrived home today
In complete disarray
Chalky -
Empty-handed and singin' 'Night Fever' .. like you do
Chalky -
Tomorrow the clouds will obscure
Darren -
My view of the glorious Ruhr
For I am so high
irach -
On Cloud 9 in the sky
I won't see anything- that's for sure
Kim -
I'm spending the night in a tent
Knobbly -
In a farmer's field just outside Ghent
Tuj -
I get his best manure -
My euros on cr*p won't be spent.
Apols all
Chalky -
Take it from me - he's a cad!
Chasty -
He tells as it is – I’m so glad!
About flowers and bees
(Taught me spreading my knees)
So thankful I am - he's my dad!
Marc -
In China they have rice with noodles,
Grilled rats and occasion’ly poodles
irach -
In Botswana it's lizards
Served with roast ostrich gizzards
Tuj -
Fish and chips? Oh relief! Give me oodles!
Projoy -
The loaf that I wear on my head
Shows I'm clever and also well-bread
Juxtapose -
There's just no disputin'
My chapeau-plus-gluten
Chalky -
What's more, I'm exceedin' well-fed -
[Jux - lovely!]
Chalky -
One don't have a clue 'bout the poor -
invoking toffdom for another rind
Software -
I just shoo 'em from my door
I tell 'em "Eat Cake"
Botherer -
Appear on Rikki Lake
Saying "Chalky wouldn't gie us no more" invoking commonisms
irach -
It's these multiple lines that I dread
Nothing funny takes shape in my head
Marc -
It’s OK, lim’rick friend,
Let us wait for the end
Software -
And find out what someone else said
Software -
In this one I need just one line
irach -
I get two and that suits me just fine
So I'll give it a go
Blob -
And then it's my throw
So the fifth line - (the pay-off) - is mine.
Botherer -
I really can't think of a line
That will start off a lim'rick divine
Software -
So instead, this'll do
It's over to you
Raak -
To end in a way that will shine.
Today is a good day to die!
Blob -
Said the spider who'd captured a fly
Now kindly keep still
Marc -
And make up your will
While I make a bluebottle-pie
irach -
The old lady who swallowed a fly
Washed it down with a cupful of chai
Darren -
She swallowed the spider
And chased it with cider
Kim -
The question remains - will she die?
Sojourning awhile in The Hague
Tuj -
I noticed a doorway marked "Plague"
Upon opening I
Software -
Found Dutch apple pie
But the connection with plague was quite vague
Marc -
We left Frances-Bay with the tide,
Two ships in the dawn side by side
irach -
But while leaving the port
irach -
We found we were short
Blob -
Of the captain - poor bugger had died.
So we steered a course by the stars
Marc -
All brave men with swords, most with scars
At the helm boatswain Luke
irach -
Being seasick, did puke
O'er the strapping Swede helmsman named Lars.
Marc -
They sailed but got lost and they stranded
And none of them knew where they’d landed [irach] How did you know my name and part-time occupation? A correction though, I’m not strapping - just well hung (o’r the rail of the yacht when I’m seasick at least)
Knobbly -
They'd steered so far right
Home was just back in sight
Their horizons weren't greatly expanded
horizon line -
On that island they thought they'd see Crusoe
But the one they ran into was Clouseau
Marc -
Who had stranded last year
And he said: “Have no fear”,
Raak -
"Ay 'av nevar 'ad rezon to rue so."
With multiple lines writ per player
Our wit throve on different air
But this game is now done
And should give way to one
That is new: to hang on were unfair.
Audience -
*shouts, screams generally goes wild for Raak*
Marc - This was a nice game and the basic idea was good, most contributors seemed to like it as well. The odd diversions such as starting all five lines in parallel either way was not always a success and may need some time to find a more steady approach. See you out there in the next couple of MANDATORY (!) limerick games...
This is the end of the line. There is no more.