Here's an experiment with the Limerick form. In this game (and this one only) it is permissible for players to contribute more than one line each to each limerick, just to see if we can increase the level of coherence in this much-loved form as practised in the Morniverse. Everything else is the same as normal... Take it away!
And so it begins...
Projoy -
A rather nice girl in my street
Has taken to showing her feet
blamelewis -
Each Friday at Three
You can pop round to see
Juxtapose -
(Provided you're swift to retreat)
A dashing young lad from Madrid
Darren -
Once dressed up as Billy the KidHe went to the States
Projoy -
With his best cowboy skates
And evaded all foes with a skid
Fatouville -
A frisky bay filly from Staines
Was prone to breaking her reins
Raak -
When all saddled up
She would bolt at "Gee-up!"
Irouléguy -
And terrified folk in the lanes
The Aztecs were often quite worried
Software -
That the gold they had slavishly quarried
Projoy -
Was not good to eat
So they turned up the heat
And it tasted quite gorgeous when curried.
Kim -
"This unfinished sentence alert...-
Unfinished quotation alert
Software -
.. is provided so you can assert ...
Juxtapose -
Of what is most likely to hurt."
Are two heads much better than one?
Kim -
Do blondes really have much more fun?
CdM -
It's questions like these
That cause (I didn't see any mention in the rules of an integer requirement)
Rosie -
one to seize (CdM) Not a bad idea
Software -
Chances like these and then when sated to run
Chalky - [Software] any chance of reworking your entry?
Marc -
Any chance of reworking your entry?
No way, those are rules elementary,
If you leave in a mess,
Projoy -
You must quickly confess
To the warden, the Pope and the sentry.
Chalky -
I really must try to resist
Revealing the names on this list
Software -
'Cos I have a duty [Chalky] No.
Simons Mith - To 'buxom' and 'cutie' -
Besides, we were
terribly pissed
Chalky -
Beware of the snake in the grass [Software] never mind - I thought you were still around posting when I typed that.
CdM -
Be it adder or python or as
-p or boa or
Blob -
viper,
(that venomous sniper)
Whichever it is - best to pass.
Chalky - [CdM & Blob] Bravo - nicely done :-)
Projoy -
Midget gems are the work of the fiend
When I eat them I feel quite demeaned
Blob -
There's just nothing phonier Than eating zirconia
Chalky -
When one has been recently weaned
Chalky -
Let's recall all babies in arms!
Irouléguy -
We'll send them to work on the farms
The ploughing and sowing
Software -
Will stop them from growing
Thus retaining their babyish charms Ah! Bless (as they say)
Blob -
Ah, Bless ! Aren't they cute ? aren't they sweet ?
Little nose, little hands, little feet
irach -
Coochy coo to them toes
Coochy too to cute nose
Darren -
My, Tony Blair's cabinet's neat!
The best form of government is
Projoy -
The one that belongs to Queen Liz
She guides them with grace
Blob -
And by waving the mace
Then sends Raleigh to burn down Cadiz (Assuming Liz I there).
Chalky -
'Twas said that The Spanish Armada
Should try just that little bit harder
irach -
Not to get their ships sunk
irach -
To haul gold, not just junk
Projoy -
And pay sailors much less than de nada
I'm roaring with agony, ruth,
And regret over this, my lost tooth
Software -
It'll teach me, they say
To brush every day
Knobbly -
With a paste made from sand and vermouth (assuming you meant 'teach me' in a sense of don't do it again)
Brush your teeth at least twice every day
Marc -
To prepare for a roll in the hay
It prevents halitosis
irach -
And ensuing psychoses
Caused by germs in brain matter that's gray
Blob -
"Here's some work for my leedle grey cells"
Poirot said to the Bishop of Wells
Software -
"I really am clever
Because there is never ... open quote warning ...
penelope -
Not a stiff for whom the bell tolls
I live as I do, no regrets
Darren -
I have not one friend, and no pets
And yet, every night
irach -
To my utter delight
Playing poker alone, I win bets
Darren -
Who travelled some years in the East
Upon his return
irach -
He was interred in an urn
You see, he had come back deceased... what a morbid downbeat limerick...
Projoy -
Alas, poor cetation, thy tale
Besaddens me - I knew you, whale.
Botherer -
And Thames, be ye shallow
Not fertile, but fallow
Chalky -
Just bodes that your rescue will fail - I'm blubbing already
Chalky -
I'm Upbeat, I'm Bright and I'm Breezy
Juxtapose -
Hence penning a poem so cheesy
But things could be worse
irach -
Like a fairy tale curse
That morphs me into Dopey or Sneezy
CdM -
Whenever I find that
Projoy -
you're nearI run up to my room and chug beer
Irouléguy -
After three pints of mild
I blub like a child
Raak -
Any more, and I'll feel a bit queer.
Raak - Forgot two at once.
Whenever I feel a bit queer
Darren -
I go out and grab a quick beer
And once I am drunk
irach -
I behave like a punk
Dressed in chains and my new leather gear
Mick Smetaphor -
I once saw a quack down in Staines
Regarding my varicose veins
Raak -
He examined and poked
And prodded and stroked
Darren -
It's a map of the drains."
Projoy - [CdM] Hey, it doesn't say anything in the rubric about
less than one line being permitted :P
The spanner I keep in my tights
Gives the ladies delectable frights
irach -
While my handy hacksaw
Makes them all beg for more
Mick Smetaphor -
It's only the chisel that blights
When Henry was courting his Anne
Raak -
She coyly snapped open her fan.
"If you wish to wed me"
irach -
"And will not behead me
"You certainly can be may man"
Marc -
Those men borne in May has got all,
They’re rich has good looks, most are tall,
Projoy -
They marry nice wife
And they get jolly life
Botherer -
Unlike those poor sods born in fall
A beautiful creature, the swan
Darren -
Is just an elaborate con
You stretch a duck's neck
Marc -
Then lime it like heck
And place it in l’arte de salon
Projoy -
Enormously thankful I am
That you saved me from all of this spam
Marc -
Now my mailbox is filled
With new spam that’s been grilled
Software -
So I am free to use my web-cam putting that one to bed ...
Projoy -
I tried to find ice rinks to skate
On a trip to the Orange Free State
Software -
But all I could find
Was the roller-skate kind
Chalky -
Which started a heated debate
I've lost all my will to survive
Projoy -
Perhaps it is time to contrive
A method; a date
irach -
A partner, a mate
Who can jack up my lousy sex drive
Juxtapose -
I once found an ingot of lead
Tucked under the sheets of my bed
Phil -
This slab of pure plumbum,
The cause of my numb bum,
penelope -
Now anchors the wardrobe instead
My sandwiches fell in the bin
Botherer -
And got covered in raw chicken skin
At risk of contracting
Marc -
Intestine extracting
I gulped a huge barrel of gin
Projoy -
I fear that that these strict Muslim loons
Who get angry at simple cartoons
penelope -
Will settle the score
By being quick on the draw
Raak -
And send round al-Qaeda's goons.
In a hut in north-western Nepal
Projoy -
An idol adheres to the wall
His one little eye
Chalky -
Sheds a tear by-and-by
For the fate that must surely befall. gulp
Anonymouse -
as she
(View the source to read the hidden text)
(Hide tags added posthumously by rab)
Chalky -
(View the source to read the hidden text)
(View the source to read the hidden text)
penelope - Oooh!
(View the source to read the hidden text)
That's just too
(View the source to read the hidden text)
Marc -
bareback (gee, thx rab for your kind assistance!)
irach -
There's such an edict-
The rules are quite strict
Darren -
And breaking them may lead to fines
I once saw a ghost in the hall
Knobbly -
Play lacrosse, with his head as the ball
Projoy -
And, in place of a stick
He was using his hand
Phil -
As he whacked his own head off the wall
I once won a long game of Fives
Darren -
On a journey I made from St Ives
I gave my opponent
Marc -
One smashing component
Then chopped him alive with my knifes (tough game in St. Ives)
Marc -
When cooking a spicy hot meal
Make sure to have chop-sticks of steel
irach -
A sealed horseradish flask
A masala gas mask
Software -
And tastebuds that have little feel
Marc -
At last it is Valentine’s Day!
Prepared for a roll in the hay?
penelope -
Or are you toute seule
The loneliest girl?
Projoy -
Whatever - save time and go gay!
Number one is the loneliest number
Darren -
And alone is the loneliest slumber
So find number two
irach -
And make whoopee-doo
Nine months down number three you'll encumber
Phil - [P,D & i] Nice!
I get a peculiar feeling
Whenever I look at the ceiling
Projoy -
I find that its beams
Give me curious dreams
Irouléguy -
In which I hear the bells pealing
In a church on an isle in the Seine
CdM -
Prays a man: "Dear Lord, tell me when
Will I understand why
irach -
Barbie passes me by
Just what does she see in that Ken?
Marc the linesman -
There once was a virgin from Stowe
Who felt a great itch down below
Software -
This peculiar feeling
Though quite appealing
penelope -
Would come and then go, come and go
There once was a pig in a poke
Projoy -
Who was handy a telling a joke:
He told one to me
Marc -
And I laughed, Yes-sir-ee,
‘til my T bone and Pork bone was broke
Blob -
There was an old Pharaoh of Thebes
Who was mad about Great Crested Grebes
Raak -
He cared not a bit
For a Booby or Tit
irach -
As did (so they say), Ann of Cleves
When blue-footed boobies fly over
Botherer -
Or even a rare piping plover
Don't look to the sky
Chalky -
Just lower your eye
And hum to the tune of 'Wild Rover'
Chalky -
There once was a Rover who swore
That no never would he rove no more How folky am I? :-)
Juxtapose -
Though barely so spoken
His promise was broken
irach -
When he roved where he hadn't before
irach -
Digging in to a bowl of hot chili
Darren -
I'd bought in the Isles of Scilly
I found a small lump
Marc -
Looking just like a pump
But it tasted like shrimp-stewed Ram-Willie
Chalky -
*applauds the 'Rovers'*
Projoy -
The Rover's Return to the Inn
Was thus met with a quarrelsome din
Blob -
As he retold his life
Came a shriek from his wife
Wol -
- He'd stuck her, not the doll, with a pin.
Wol -
A bishop, while studying voodoo
irach -
Found himself knee-deep in doo-doo
"Exorcise me!" he cried,
Chalky -
"for this demon inside
is nasty and pooey and crude, ooh!"
Projoy -
With just tuppence for paper and strings
You can make up your own pair of wings
Chalky -
So dance on the breeze
Over houses and trees
Marc -
Then crash in the midst of angels that sings
Marc - Her chastity-belt he had locked, another story begins...
irach -
But when he came back he was shocked
irach -
To his utter dismay
Phil -
('twas on Valentine's Day)
He found that the padlock was crocked
Chalky - sorry Marc, but your last line to me and Projoy's Mary Poppins lim not only didn't scan but was also a bit non-secateury. As the good book says -
'if in doubt, don't post' [which really means -
if you can't nail it , butt out ]:-)
Marc - sorry Chalky, nevertheless I've posted it in good spirit and for sure it is not better than any of yours or Projoys lines but it is not so bad that anyone should bather commenting it the way you just did ;-)
www.nonsenselit.org/Lear/limerick/limerick.html
Marc -
She went to the locksmiths one day
And said: “Can you please find a way,”
Chalky -
He took out his pick - [Marc] my comment reads a lot sharper than I intended, please forgive. It was the scansion that wasn't up to your usual standards.
Projoy - [Chalky] Ironically, it almost scans according to the original tune! :)
Marc -
She fondled his wick
He unlocked and she said “Let us pray!” [Pro/Chalky]It's called pacing...
Juxtapose -
When praying, it's best, I have found
To lower one's head to the ground
Blob - [Marc]
You see in the Limerick Biz.
We contributors get in a tizz -
When the rhythm's the shits
It just gets on our tits,
I'm sorry, but that's how it is.
Blob - Oops - sorry, Juxta - I'll repost yours
Juxtapose -
When praying, it's best, I have found
To lower one's head to the ground
Juxtapose -
No worries, I like yours better anyway ;)
Raak -
Lift one's legs in the air
And balance with care
Projoy -
You'll be free with just one simple bound
Take some butter and cheese, and some crackers
Blob -
Some paté; say, liver of quackers
A bottle of Krug
Marc -
Carneros - 92 (or Pinot Noir twothousandandtwooo?)
A traditional meal for back-packers.....
Phil - How is
Krug pronounced these days?
I can't help but sing while I Hoover
I often dance too - quite a mover!
anonymouse -
Then last time - how unlucky Where I come from it’s pronounced
crew that elegantly
As I hoovered - quite plucky would rhyme clue or ninety-two (which was a very good vintage by the way!)
United Linesmen Ltd -
• I can't help but sing while I Hoover
• I often dance too - quite a mover!
• Then last time - quite unlucky
• As I hoovered - so plucky
Chalky -
I got sucked in a vacuum manouevre
It's dark and it's dusty in here
Software -
You ain't got a Dyson™, that's clear
Projoy -
So get one you must
Or live knee-deep in dust
Blob -
Look on ebay, they ain't very dear
This widgeon is quite undercooked
CdM -
The stuffing has been overlooked
Projoy -
And in short, this poor bird
Marc -
Still alive, so I’ve heard,
And the cook imprisoned and booked
Marc -
There once was a lim’rick line writer
Who claimed writing lines so much brighter
Software -
Discarding his Quink™
he used luminous ink
irach -
And was known as a brilliant old blighter
The real problem with pigments and dyes
Raak -
Is bad taste is the cause of sore eyes
Screaming pink with charteuse
Projoy -
You inflict on your foes
At the risk of them taking the rise
Marc -
There once was a widow-molester
Who tried to get hold of Aunt Esther
Botherer -
But she wouldn't let
The horny old get
Software -
Get out of her house till he'd laid her
The Rhyme Police - Now then, Mr Software, we can do this the easy way, or the hard way......
Marc -
The rhyming police has no right ...tough ending Mr Soft, hope you'll get out soon!
to handcuff submitters each night
irach -
The scansion cop, though
Is really the foe
Projoy -
And causes non-scanning individuals to find themselves in a bit of a sorry plight.
The time of the day when I walk
Marc -
You’ll find is the time as I talk
to myself - so distracted
Phil -
[Projoy] I am typing this in the most amiable mood imaginable, not with any malice, although with some alcohol. I seem to be alone in wondering why the Rhyme Police didn't have words with you, regarding "Chartreuse : foes" as a rhyme? However, I can't think of any English word Chartreuse does rhyme with. Americans, apparently would rhyme it with "deuce", but not me.
CdM -
[Phil] I would think words like "infers" or "concurs" would be acceptable (though not exact) rhymes.
Projoy - [Phil] Entirely my ignorance. Never having heard it pronounced, I had always assumed it was "shar-trose".
Phil -
[CdM] Ah yes, thank you.
[Projoy] If you're in on the Ratby(post-Rugby)pilg, I'll crack open a bottle :-)
Marc - [Marc] As it seems everybody else are busy talking to themselves why shouldn’t you? Don’t you believe they are advocating about the fine set of words Chart Re-use? In the olden days when we were still writing limerick lines and not just chatting I’m sure someone would have written a bunch of stupid lines like:
Whenever I’m getting the Blues, I mix some Juice with some Booze, once I fell and got a Bruise, and as I have a short Fuse, my pink Moose I turned Loose then started to Snooze, but no sane or sober contributor would ever be able to create such bullshit without any traces of wit, scansion and rhyme, don’t you think? And besides, why should anyone want to re-use old charts?
Projoy - [Projoy] Just ignore these strange voices: they're imaginary really and I'm sure they'll go away eventually. :)
Software -
With chaos redacted
All the rhythm is knocked into baulk Assuming the scansion police are too busy dealing with the above riot
Kim -
Your logic is incomprehensible
Your methods are quite indefensible
Chalky -
Your mission's heretical
Your product non-ethical [SW] well played , sir! That was a tricky :-)
Projoy -
But somehow it's quite indispensible
Uranus was born of his Gaia
Blob -
Whilst Kronos had him as his sire
This put him at odds
With the rest of the gods
Phil -
Who all said his dad was a liar
[Software] Ditto what Chalky said.
Appollo was never in need
Chalky -
With his chariot of fiery steed
One lash of his whip
all -
Was destined to clipA horse of incredible breed
Software -
I think I've said it before
You can't beat the power of Thor
Kim -
On really tough stains
Marc -
Pure fact still remains
Well beaten the shit is no more
all -
Odin, "The god you can trust"Whose visit is surely a must
irach -
To Freya, the beauty
irach -
Who wiggles her booty
Simons Mith -
An arrogant godling called Zeus
Is once again out on the loose
Raak -
Flaunting grandiose powers,
Giving swans golden showers,
Chalky -
Ruling all from his Mount O-lym-poos
Athena [who sprang from his head]
all -
Is kept chained up in my shedThe reason you see
Marc -
We do not agree,
Using red or black (or red?) silk-sheets in bed
Marc 2 -
Odin by far is lewdest of all www.pantheon.org/articles/o/odin.html Frigg and Jord he gave a great ball
Blob -
Then he sired a kid
By the Giantess, Grid
Chalky -
By giving her one 'gainst the wall ooh - that was SO rude of me
Marc -
Our Giantess moaned and then said :
"I think that I’ll bite off your head," [Chalky]We thought Odin was the one and never expected this rudeness from you...
Software -
"But before that wee bite
I think that I might
Chalky -
Have four pints of lager instead"
Chalky -
logs then went on ... u. s. a. alert
Marc -
A young
Who was
When all
It went
So sad
Juxtapose -
A young whippersnapper
Who was singing
When all others
It went "Take
So sad his
irach -
A young whippersnapper named
Who was singing off-key
When all others lamented
It went "Take Your
So sad his pathetic
irach -
A young whippersnapper named
Who was singing off-key
When all others lamented
It went "Take Your
So sad his pathetic
Chalky - That might have worked if everyone had stuck to the same syllable count when adding. This is my feeble attempt to pull it together:
A young whippersnapper named Jake
Who was singing off-key at Ted's wake
When all others lamented.
It went "Take your rent, Ted" [the off-key song]
So sad his pathetic mistake.
Kim - [Chalky] Silk purse out of sow's ear, IMO, good stuff. Let's try another. Maybe we'll get better at it if we practice.
There
Who
The
All
And
Irouléguy -
There was
Who threw
The old
All five
And tied Chalky] Nice finish.
irach -
There was a sting-ray
Who threw shrimp
The old octopi
All five chose
And tied that ray
Randy - [irach]hope you were aiming at something better than this?
There was a sting-ray named Irach
Who threw shrimp-pate at his flock
The old octopi (and four mates)
All five chose to die (as shark baits)
And tied that ray-gun to his jockwe may need some more practice?
Projoy - [Randy] I'd have it a little differently:
There was a sting-ray, not so bright,
Who threw shrimp all around in a fight
The old octopi
(All five) chose not to die
And tied that ray up for the night(still far from brilliant, but scans better :) )
Raak -
You said
Till the
But I
And you
So I'll
irach -
You said you would
Till the cows mooed
But I won't
And you will
So I'll wait in
Irouléguy -
You said you would stay
Till the cows mooed "Old
But I won't go
And you will just
So I'll wait in York
Blob -
You said you would stay incognito
Till the cows mooed "Old Faithful" to Tito
But I won't go by
And you will just cry
So I'll wait in York Station. Finito.
Marc (lining up) -
[Blob]Excellent ‘finito’ considering raw-material provided!
A humble suggestion: Let’s try it from rear end for once:
vacation,
temptation,
fear,
near,
salvation!
Kim -
...summer vacation
...to temptation
...never fear
...is near
...your salvation!
Raak -
...on a summer vacation
...yield to temptation
...safe, never fear
Wonder Woman is near
...be your salvation!
Darren -
...go on a summer vacation
...not yield to temptation
...are safe, never fear
Wonder Woman is near
...will be your salvation!
(boring set of moves, that)
irach -
Batman, go on a summer vacation
Robin will not yield to temptation
Caves are safe, never fear
Wonder Woman is near
Her magic will be your salvation!
Botherer - [irach] Well done, squire!
[everyone] How about a first - last - first - last - first word effort? Work backwards from the last words, forwards from the first...? I'm confident in you guys...
There
hated
The
fruit
Of
Marc -
There was...
...was hated
The waste...
...was fruit
Of what...
irach -
There was a...
...truly was hated
The waste basket...
...rotten was fruit
Of what rancid...
Juxtapose -
hope it's not presumptuous to try finishing There was a boss whose worth equated
With how much he truly was hated
The waste basket chute
Was rotten was fruit
Of what rancid answers he baited
Kim - OK, acrostic time; remember, the subject matter must reflect the word in the acrostic:
S
W
I
F
T
irach -
Speeding
While
In
Forever
Tachometers
Raak -
Speeding down
While the rain
In the dark
Forever
Tachometers
Projoy -
Speeding down country
While the rain spatters
In the dark I
Forever aglow
Tachometers telling
Projoy - (assuming a stress on "down" there, btw)
Juxtapose -
I just looked at my last post... "Was rotten was fruit"?? Oi, somehow I read it as "Was rotten WITH fruit", which you must admit makes a lot more sense... now back to your regularly scheduled players with talent.
Phil -
My first attempt at this manner of Limerick writing. Here goes. Speeding down country lanes in my lorry
While the rain spatters o'er Tobermory
In the dark I'm gung ho -
Forever aglow -
Tachometers telling their story
Kim - [Phil] A splendid effort - first or not.
What's next?
Marc - Well done Phil! (but as always winner must start the next, mustn't they... ;-)
Phil - Ok then, here goes for another acrostic:
My
Or
Neither
Even
Yet
Raak -
My fortune
Or else
Neither rust
Even taxes
Yet I
Kim -
My fortune is yet to be made
Or else
Neither rust
Even taxes
Yet I
Darren -
My fortune is yet to be made
Or else all my hopes are to fade
Neither rust nor
Even taxes must
Yet I still
Marc -
My fortune is yet to be made
Or else all my hopes are to fade
Neither rust nor moth doth corrupt
Even taxes must...
Yet I still....
Chalky - sorry Marc- your stray 'moth' is making life
awful difficult for us feeble souls that would wish to complete - any chance of revising?
Marc - Please Chalky, feel free to ignore my
awfully difficult line. I thought you needed a few xtra syllables to be able to finish line 4? Good luck!
My fortune is yet to be made
Or else all my hopes are to fade
Neither rust nor revising
Even taxes must...
Yet I still...
Randy -
My fortune is yet to be made
Or else all my hopes are to fade
Neither rust nor to get laid
Even taxes must be paid
Yet I still...
Anna - interesting concept with 5 rhyming lines....
My fortune is yet to be made
Or else all my hopes are to fade
Neither rust nor to get laid
(Even taxes must be paid)
Yet I still live my life as a maid
Limerick Police - 5 rhyming lines is acceptable - however, lines 3 & 4 with 3 beats each is not.
irach -
Another acrostic,shall we?
P
A
N
I
C
Juxtapose -
let's shall. Perhaps
About
No
I fear
Could
Marc -
(3,3,3,3,3, so far - so good)Perhaps when
About time
No longer
I fear that
Could never
Irouléguy -
Perhaps when our
About time that
No longer will
I fear that swan's
Could never be
Chalky -
[Iroulay] Make it easy, why don't you? :-)
Perhaps when our experts arrive
About time! That means it's past five?
"No longer" Will said,
"I fear that swan's dead."
"Could never be classed as alive"
Projoy -
What matter
Who mutter
When nutters
Why splutter
How utterly
irach -
What matter those
Who stutter "F-f-flutter
When nutters whose
Why splutter those
How utterly buttered
Raak -
What matter those guttersnipe's chatter
Who stutter "F-f-flutter
When nutters whose twitters
Why splutter those
How utterly buttered's my
Chalky -
What matter those guttersnipe's chatter
Who stutter "F-f-flutter" Such patter!
When nutters whose twitters
Why splutter those bitters
How utterly buttered's my batter
Marc - [Chalky] Well done, never thought this attempt could be landed safely!
Just a reminder of where we started:
This ‘peri-mental Limerick form
Trying to find its steady-state norm,
Juxtapose -
Can't help but to flux,
And thus the game's crux -
To gain a safe harbor mid-storm.
Irouléguy - How about a seasonal acrostic?
A
P
R
I
L
irach -
A Springtime
Pretty
Rosebuds
Incredible
Lovely
Marc -
A Springtime night frost
Pretty ice crystals
Rosebuds withering
Incredible sad
Lovely white hoarfrost
Knobbly -
A Springtime night frost on the lawn
Pretty ice crystals glist`ning at dawn
Rosebuds withering
Incredible sad
Lovely white hoarfrost
(I had to use a `, because the \\\\\\\' still appears to be adding obliques and I wanted to indicate the scansion)
Knobbly -
Is it my fault? Sorry.
- Kill, kill...this limerick I mean.
Kill'er... -
A Springtime night frost on the lawn
Pretty ice crystals glist`ning at dawn
Rosebuds withering sadly
Incredible sad, so badly
Lovely white hoarfrost, foregone.....
Marc - Suggesting another try starting with the end rhymes:
….better,
….wetter,
….got,
….spot,
….get her.
irach -
...lot better
...yacht wetter
...pantaloons got
embarrasing spot
...not get her.
Kim -
...I felt a lot better
...employ a yacht wetter
When her pantaloons got
An embarrassing spot
...I just could not get her.
Marc - …anyone having a better (or wetter?) suggestion?
Prince Andrews statement after the Fastnet-race 1985 as he (still somewhat seasick and with a hammering hangover) met with Fergie in Cowes, Isle of Wight (I was there so I know):
Last night as I felt a lot better
I swore to employ a yacht wetter
When her pantaloons got
An embarrassing spot
I knew that I just could not get her
Marc -
Back to basics, romantic setting, 'Red sails in the sunset...'
While sailing along in the breeze,
Wind steady and life is at ease,
irach -
As the sails bulge, I kiss her...
Mills and Boone soppy limericks?
irach -
I whisper, "I miss yer"
Phil -
She pukes and goes weak at the knees
I live as a modest young maid
Marc -
Drink tea while I wait to get laid
And I'm hoping one night
irach -
Not to be so uptight
With my saucy Aussie from Ad'laide
Marc -
Dear Chalky, I think that you're mad,
offended, and that makes me sad,
Chalky -
Dear Marc, there's a rumour
You've no sense of humour
What's more - you're nowt but a lad :-)
Projoy -
I frequently eat Parma ham
With lashings of ketchup and jam
Raak -
For dessert I partake
Of fried pumpkin and hake
Chalky -
No wonder I look like Saddam
I love a nice fragrant Thai dish
Projoy -
It's my very best favourite wish
To dine on Pad Thai
irach -
And sip on a Mai Tai
While savouring galangal fish
Phil -
My armpits are starting to smell
My feet are quite rancid as well
Marc -
My toes has turned lose
They're stuck in my shoes
Botherer -
I'm blaming this hot, humid spell
I'm off now to get my car mended
Projoy -
The bonnet has somehow got bended
The fog lights are smasht
irach -
My rear fender is gashed
All thanks to my being rear-ended
Tuj -
If I had more money, and time
irach -
I would give greater thought to this rhyme
As it turns out I don't
Raak -
And so therefore I won't
Try to do more than dash off this line.
Tuj -
As darkness slides down o'er the hills
Darren -
I set up my illegal stills
The moonshine I make
Raak -
I ship over the lake
And sell by the old disused mills.
Chalky -
We need to be true to the cause
Projoy -
And do duty without any pause
Nor thought of the self
Raak -
Or of grasping for pelf
Let us march to the drumbeat of wars!
Marc -
Last night he went out to hunt beaver
Just armed with a dreadful meat cleaver
Kim -
He arrived home today
In complete disarray
Chalky -
Empty-handed and singin' 'Night Fever' .. like you do
Chalky -
Tomorrow the clouds will obscure
Darren -
My view of the glorious Ruhr
For I am so high
irach -
On Cloud 9 in the sky
I won't see anything- that's for sure
Kim -
I'm spending the night in a tent
Knobbly -
In a farmer's field just outside Ghent
Tuj -
I get his best manure -
My euros on cr*p won't be spent.
Apols all
Chalky -
Take it from me - he's a cad!
Chasty -
He tells as it is – I’m so glad!
About flowers and bees
(Taught me spreading my knees)
So thankful I am - he's my dad!
Marc -
In China they have rice with noodles,
Grilled rats and occasion’ly poodles
irach -
In Botswana it's lizards
Served with roast ostrich gizzards
Tuj -
Fish and chips? Oh relief! Give me oodles!
Projoy -
The loaf that I wear on my head
Shows I'm clever and also well-bread
Juxtapose -
There's just no disputin'
My chapeau-plus-gluten
Chalky -
What's more, I'm exceedin' well-fed -
[Jux - lovely!]
Chalky -
One don't have a clue 'bout the poor -
invoking toffdom for another rind
Software -
I just shoo 'em from my door
I tell 'em "Eat Cake"
Botherer -
Appear on Rikki Lake
Saying "Chalky wouldn't gie us no more" invoking commonisms
irach -
It's these multiple lines that I dread
Nothing funny takes shape in my head
Marc -
It’s OK, lim’rick friend,
Let us wait for the end
Software -
And find out what someone else said
Software -
In this one I need just one line
irach -
I get two and that suits me just fine
So I'll give it a go
Blob -
And then it's my throw
So the fifth line - (the pay-off) - is mine.
Botherer -
I really can't think of a line
That will start off a lim'rick divine
Software -
So instead, this'll do
It's over to you
Raak -
To end in a way that will shine.
Today is a good day to die!
Blob -
Said the spider who'd captured a fly
Now kindly keep still
Marc -
And make up your will
While I make a bluebottle-pie
irach -
The old lady who swallowed a fly
Washed it down with a cupful of chai
Darren -
She swallowed the spider
And chased it with cider
Kim -
The question remains - will she die?
Sojourning awhile in The Hague
Tuj -
I noticed a doorway marked "Plague"
Upon opening I
Software -
Found Dutch apple pie
But the connection with plague was quite vague
Marc -
We left Frances-Bay with the tide,
Two ships in the dawn side by side
irach -
But while leaving the port
irach -
We found we were short
Blob -
Of the captain - poor bugger had died.
So we steered a course by the stars
Marc -
All brave men with swords, most with scars
At the helm boatswain Luke
irach -
Being seasick, did puke
O'er the strapping Swede helmsman named Lars.
Marc -
They sailed but got lost and they stranded
And none of them knew where they’d landed [irach] How did you know my name and part-time occupation? A correction though, I’m not strapping - just well hung (o’r the rail of the yacht when I’m seasick at least)
Knobbly -
They'd steered so far right
Home was just back in sight
Their horizons weren't greatly expanded
horizon line -
On that island they thought they'd see Crusoe
But the one they ran into was Clouseau
Marc -
Who had stranded last year
And he said: “Have no fear”,
Raak -
"Ay 'av nevar 'ad rezon to rue so."
With multiple lines writ per player
Our wit throve on different air
But this game is now done
And should give way to one
That is new: to hang on were unfair.
Audience -
*shouts, screams generally goes wild for Raak*
Marc - This was a nice game and the basic idea was good, most contributors seemed to like it as well. The odd diversions such as starting all five lines in parallel either way was not always a success and may need some time to find a more steady approach. See you out there in the next couple of MANDATORY (!) limerick games...
This is the end of the line. There is no more.