You have two teams of wizards. In order to make a move you must change shape into a creature or thing that beats, defeats or otherwise trumps whatever the other side has just changed into. So you might get a sequence like
at which point I have to admit I'm stumped so presumably the witches win that round.
And so it begins...
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Aardvark
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American Automobile Association
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Toyota Prius
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[CdM] You should have gone for Laziness. Laziness beats aardvark any day.
The M25
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The M-16
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The M-pire State
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The Petronas Towers
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(changing to a more interestingly named color team)
Burj Dubai
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The International Space Station Am I doing this right?
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Asteroid Maybe we should go back to puce and green!
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Lembit Opik Just wanted to play my joker
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Baroness Scott of Needham Market (Forced. Possibly.)
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Harriet Harman
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Max Mosley
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Willy Wonka
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An Oompa Loompa with a grievance
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High-powered corporate lawyers
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Tagon's Toughs (who have a standing bounty authorizing any member of the unit to shoot Partnership Collective lawyer drones on sight.)
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Ha! Thought that might fox you! Round one to the Puces!
Let's start the next round with … a handbag.
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A goat
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Damn. I think he won right there. Nicely played!
Malta
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[CdM] I think so too.
Yalta
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Potsdam
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A-Bomb
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A missile
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Defence budget cuts
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A Dossier. No, you can't read the contents.
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A freedom of information act
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A politically biased judge
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A Murdoch media slu... campaign.
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A chip shop
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A fish and chip shop
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oops. A misapplication of the "whoops" button there.
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A public health campaign
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(Switching team allegiance, to keep silliness levels below an acceptable threshold) A botched knee operation
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[rab] I picked Goldenrod because of the connection with "The Witch of the Westmorelands". I think azure is confusing. I was expecting it to be a deep blue, a preconception left over from a dabbling in heraldry some years ago.
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A large compensation payment
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Lawyer's Fees Pro Bono: To be in agreement with the lead singer of U2
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Communism
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The Cultural Revolution
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Teh Intarnets
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Backhoes. Fibre-optic cable has only one natural predator; the bucket-shovel excavator, or backhoe.
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A Potato. The natural enemy of all petrol driven vehicles.
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A fish and chip shop
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Mercury contamination
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The Government of Japan
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Godzilla
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Wallace and Gromit
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Nick Parks in a New York taxi
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Rosa Parks in a Montgomery Bus
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Gangsta Rap
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Rich white fans
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I declare a victory for all.
Shakespeare
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Rowling
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Archer
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Kirk
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Stallone
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Stallone? Too obscure for me.
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Schwarzenegger
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The California Budget Deficit
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A written response to the opposition
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Illiteracy
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More investment in education
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A Tax Hike
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The Cayman Islands
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High-speed, Cyclic Storm Systems
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Temperate Climate
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Flatulent Fresians
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A Dog With No Nose
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Korean Chef
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[juxt] How does it differentiate odours?
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Béarnaise
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[Simons Mith] With great difficulty.
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Grizzly Béarnaise
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Rotting Salmon
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A fish and chip shop
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A Health & Safety Inspector
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A machete
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A sword
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A pen
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Writer's block
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Single Malt
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Coca-cola and a slice of lime
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[Just a thought] If Coca-cola "beats" Single Malt, this iteration of the game has no winning move. I'm not much of a drinker and I loathe scotch, but I can't make a case for Coke beats Glen Invercockileekie other than in the most narrow circumstances.
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[SM] I was thinking much the same thing myself. Perhaps we should give this round to the Azure team?
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Okay with me.
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[SM^2] No, I think you missed my point. Coca-cola and lime defeats single malt by being mixed with it.
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[CdM] Ah. But that introduces another quandry, namely: is the next move supposed to beat "Coca Cola and a slice of lime" or "Single Malt mixed with Coca Cola and a slice of lime"?
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[SM} Presumably the wizard that had previously taken the form of single malt now has to change into something else, so it is just the Coca-cola + lime that needs to be defeated,
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All right then, rum and coca cola.
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*Bewildered* With, or without, a slice of lime?:/
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A ten-tonne lime come on, draw a line under it!
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A candle
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The wind
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A bit of stripey canvas nailed to four wooden stakes.
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A match
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[all] In this gale? :)
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A rematch
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FIFA
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FOFUM
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A beanstalk
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Agent Orange
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Mr White
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Professor Plum
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Lead piping in the kitchen
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Health and Safety
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Common sense
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An embedded hyperlink
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Your nephew, who despite being only eight knows more about computers than you ever will
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Napalm - It's the only language they understand.
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Fuel-Air Explosives
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The cold vacuum of space
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The total perspective vortex
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Zaphod Beeblebrox
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Ace Rimmer. What a guy.
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Victory for Simons Mith I feel.
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Thank you. I was quite pleased with that one.
Marmite
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Dynamite
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Jamiroquai
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A ten-tonne lime
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The invincibility of the ten-tonne lime is something that surprises me, but I haven't thought of a satisfactory counter. Time to award this one to Tuj … and put the game into storage ready for next time.
- Audience - *shouts, screams, generally goes wild for Simons Mith*
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… An eleven tonne lime. Dammit, l'esprit d'escalier rides again.
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All I could think of was Lyme disease.
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A million gallons of G&T? But that'd just be getting silly, eh?
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I'm a tad rusty in my French. I translate l'esprit d'escalier as "the phantom staircase". This is obviously a cunning metaphor for something to do with eleven tonne limes (or perhaps twenty-one tonnes of limes), but the meaning escapes me.
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It's an idiom for thinking of some witty retort just after the last moment.
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Isn't it "the spirit of the staircase?"
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Let's start a new one. An eleven tonne lime
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An industrial lime-squeezer
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A hell of a lot of Mojito Mix
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Prohibition
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President Franklin Roosevelt
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A Fourth Term
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The Fourth Estate
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The Saudi Monarchy
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The taliban.
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Bacon.
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A London Cabbie
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This is the end of the line. There is no more.