And so it begins...
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Constituent element in whitewash. Self-replicating. Used in large quantities by politicians.
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Constituent element in whitewash. Self-replicating. Used in large quantities by politicians.
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Isotopes, eh? And what is the half-life?
5.5: Bore-on
Atmospheric element of air found in council meeting chambers across the globe. Deadens discussion and limits imagination.
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Can I direct everyone's attention to this scholarly treatise on some of the sub-atomic particles closely associated with politics and particularly elections:
Quantum Electodynamics
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alium: an ethereal vapour given off by church choirs. Often found with spem.
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Could be the basis of a new life-form since it can exist in long chains.
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A noble metal. Very unreactive.
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Generally forms stable compounds. Increasingly rare.
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Toxic element found in cheese residues. Radioactive - half-life 5 years.
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The only metal harder than Titanium.
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An element formed by the bombardment of Barakobamium with enthusiasum.
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A heavy metal that reacts violently with alcohol.
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Traces of this element are found in both Yorkshire and California. Burns with a very smoky flame.
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An essential trace element in natural aphrodisiacs.
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An element with mind-altering properties, rendering the subject contemptuous of everything he lays eyes on. Many comments on blog posts are made under the influence of bilium.
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An element in the group as Sillyium, can turn base elements into fool's gold.
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Darwinium was accidentally created in the search for stable superheavy elements, and has an atomic number of 288. Its half-life is only a few microseconds, but in that time it is able to catalyse the combination of ordinary heavy elements to form more darwinium and other members of the darwinide family whose properties vary in many ways, and which can induce each other's transmutation or disintegration. The resulting intense process of natural selection, with upwards of 100,000 generations per second, has resulted in the rapid creation of entirely new forms of matter, faster than human understanding can keep pace with. Fortunately, it has not yet evolved the ability to digest any of the lighter elements. The few samples in existence have been isolated in aluminium containers, within which the finite resources cause the evolution to eventually peter out. The samples now appear to be quiescent, but there is no known way of destroying them. Theoretical calculations suggest that the introduction of as little of 1 gram of heavy elements might allow it to evolve the ability to digest every element down to hydrogen. Some argue that it is our moral duty to release the darwinide so that it may progress to transmute the entire planet and beyond into new life-forms beyond our imagination.
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Isotope of Bore-on (q.v.) with the half-life of a wet Bank Holiday.
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An element that has the most disturbed orbital state of all, formed by the transmutation of chaotic isodopes.
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An element that needs to be excluded, on principle, from the Periodic Table, say some. Its specific hazards are described in the tome-like treatise "The Perils of Paulinium" , by Dudley Doright.
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A material suited to building the circuitry of an artificial intelligence. (Silicon is clearly capable only of artificial stupidity.)
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A source of sheerly, starkly unthinkable coruscating lambent beams of unstoppable energy, and an essential catalyst in the manufacture of unobtanium.
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A pivotal element wherein the composite particles oscillate in a clockwise fashion.
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Alternates between a rigid state and a malleable state. Over time the malleable periods become more protracted, and the rigid state becomes harder to achieve.
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A rare substance found only around Rotheram.
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Found in natural weedkillers. Toxic to humans.
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Precious metal that is typically provided by or received from an ex-spouse in divorce settlements.
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An element that greatly surprised its discoverer.
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Originally dismissed as mere hearsay, this element was re-discovered in the Australian jungle and is now used in the advertising business. Not as you might think a halogen, but a different klass altogether.
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Electrons capable of several excited states. Difficult to break away from lesser elements.
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Tends to aggregate in stable blocks. Most commonly found in areas of high amenity value. The market in this element fluctuates wildly leading to it being a factor in speculative excesses.
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The first element whose discovery was announced to the world on Twitter.
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An hard element whose salts have a harsh and bitter quality to them.
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A fast-moving element commonly found in some 1980s computers, but only rarely seen today.
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Discovered by accident, all research into this element was subsequently destroyed by mistake.
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A gas, which when inhaled deeply, induces pep, enthusiam and determination.
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A lumpy, hard substance which is occasionally used in competitive events. Participants attempt to gather as much of it as possible, the winner being the player with the most Nobblinese. Once common in holiday camps, it may still be found around seaside piers and anywhere frequented by the elderly.
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A mysterious element conjectured to have been the cause of the sudden disappearance of physicists trying to isolate Snarkium.
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An element often displayed and talked about in classrooms by elementary school students in America.
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An element whose atomic structure makes it seem like another element. Often used by (or on) the intelligence services.
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A radioactive noble gas with a very long half-life.
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An ignoble gas found exclusively in the industrial wasteland of Ohio's Cuyahoga Valley.
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The more of this element you have, the poorer you get.
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An element necessary to restore good health
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A short and meaningless element, often found punctuating long chains of other molecules.
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[Juxt] That's my favourite amongst some very stiff competition.
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Rumtumtiddleumtum: the most stable isotope of poohshum.
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The last discovered element, or else.
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An element formerly used in the manufacture of radios. If someone offers you an antique radio, check its authenticity by looking for the word "Hilversum" written on the tuning dial.
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A metallic element, often used in the manufacture of ringing bells.
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A constituent element of brass.
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An element used in the preservation of cremated remains.
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An element related to tympanum, known for its percussive properties.
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An element rich in quantum weirdness that simply disappears if you don't grab it.
[Raak, re: Darwinium] I'm putting you on notice that I intend to steal that for something.
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[Projoy] I'm already thinking about a short story for the back page of Nature.
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An element, salts of which are used in Turkish baths.
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Mostly found in rock formations. Capable of absorbing its own atomic weight in carbon-attached hydroxyl group compounds, but tends to sweat and emit a noxious odour when subjected to energy.
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An element often used by dirty, rotten scoundrels.
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The special name for an isotope of Shermanium.
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An element that is, sadly, no longer in existence.
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A pair of closely related elements which only honest chemists can separate.
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A substance that is very rarely available, as you can't get the wood, you know.
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Useful element in most experiments. When treated with care, will remind you of the date of the experiment, set up the lab beforehand and write up the notes afterwards. Can get overexcited. Occasionally becomes unstable. [Projoy] Top notch.
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An element often inherited from a parent's spinster sister.
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An element for which the number of neutrons in each isotope is an integer multiple of the number of neutrons in the smallest isotope
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The element that everyone wants.
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Element used in the construction of Carion films.
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Highly combustible element, favoured by fire setters.
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An element you can get to do anything.
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The thinnest element known to science.
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An element used in the manufacture of zeppelins.
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An element with an extremely short half-life.
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An element with an even shorter one.
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An element with an extremely long half-life.
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An element found in conjunction with tin, forming a lumpy, jelly-like consistency. Found in Barking and the Canary Isles.
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An element whose physical and chemical properties are hard to fathom.
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An element placed with a cat in a sealed box.
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The fifth isotope of Symphonium, discovered in early 19th century Germany, but in a bizarre irony, it's first practical use was as part of the United Kingdom's war machine in world war two.
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An element that is most frequently produced in Indian kitchens
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Not an element, but the stuff that church pews are made of.
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A product that flies off the shelves.
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An element used widely in Rastafarian circles.
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A product that has flown off the shelves.
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A Group (Henry) VIII Element.
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The noblest of noble gases.
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The most hated element.
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An encouraging gas.
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A magical element which will be discovered in Britain's hour of need.
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An element which has the characteristics of all the other known elements.
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An element that decays unpleasantly.
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A metal whose atomic weight is measured in troy atomic mass units (= 1.097 Imperial a.m.u.s).
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An element of no interest to hens.
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The hidden bonding element in water.
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Element produced once a committee reaches critical mass.
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An element that can be found in places you didn't know you had places.
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The perfect embodiment of an ideal element.
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The very last element in the periodic table.
- Audience - *shouts, screams, generally goes wild for Raak*
This is the end of the line. There is no more.