News Has Come To Harvard

An annotated list of recently discovered elements to add to the periodic table.

• Kim - Roadieum
  Mostly found in rock formations. Capable of absorbing its own atomic weight in carbon-attached hydroxyl group compounds, but tends to sweat and emit a noxious odour when subjected to energy.
• irach - Sillycon
  An element often used by dirty, rotten scoundrels.
• Projoy - Chimchimony
  The special name for an isotope of Shermanium.
• CdM - Requium
  An element that is, sadly, no longer in existence.
• Raak - Meum and Tuum
  A pair of closely related elements which only honest chemists can separate.
• Phil - Henricrum
  A substance that is very rarely available, as you can't get the wood, you know.
• Kim - Proactinium
  Useful element in most experiments. When treated with care, will remind you of the date of the experiment, set up the lab beforehand and write up the notes afterwards. Can get overexcited. Occasionally becomes unstable. [Projoy] Top notch.
• irach - Auntiemoney
  An element often inherited from a parent's spinster sister.
• CdM - Harmonium
  An element for which the number of neutrons in each isotope is an integer multiple of the number of neutrons in the smallest isotope
• Raak - Desideratum
  The element that everyone wants.
• Projoy - Offwivum
  Element used in the construction of Carion films.
• irach - Arsonic
  Highly combustible element, favoured by fire setters.
• Raak - Gophur
  An element you can get to do anything.
• Uncle Korky - Sliver
  The thinnest element known to science.
• irach - Led
  An element used in the manufacture of zeppelins.
• CdM - Nowyusium
  An element with an extremely short half-life.
• Raak - Nosium
  An element with an even shorter one.
• CdM - Adnausium
  An element with an extremely long half-life.
• Phil - Pedigrichum
  An element found in conjunction with tin, forming a lumpy, jelly-like consistency. Found in Barking and the Canary Isles.
• irach - Conundrum
  An element whose physical and chemical properties are hard to fathom.
• Robin - Schrodium
  An element placed with a cat in a sealed box.
• Phil - Dadadadum
  The fifth isotope of Symphonium, discovered in early 19th century Germany, but in a bizarre irony, it's first practical use was as part of the United Kingdom's war machine in world war two.
• irach - Poppadum
  An element that is most frequently produced in Indian kitchens
• Phil - Numbum
  Not an element, but the stuff that church pews are made of.
• Software - Selleasium
  A product that flies off the shelves.
• irach - Potisyum
  An element used widely in Rastafarian circles.
• Robin - Aregone
  A product that has flown off the shelves.
• irach - Aragon
  A Group (Henry) VIII Element.
• Raak - Aragorn
  The noblest of noble gases.
• irach - Odium
  The most hated element.
• Raak - Goön
  An encouraging gas.
• Raak - Avalon
  A magical element which will be discovered in Britain's hour of need.
• ImNotJohn - Compendium
  An element which has the characteristics of all the other known elements.
• CdM - Effluvium
  An element that decays unpleasantly.
• Raak - Ilium
  A metal whose atomic weight is measured in troy atomic mass units (= 1.097 Imperial a.m.u.s).
• irach - Capon
  An element of no interest to hens.
• Kim - Aquarium
  The hidden bonding element in water.
• Simons Mith - Quorum
  Element produced once a committee reaches critical mass.
• Software - Speculum
  An element that can be found in places you didn't know you had places.
• irach - Paragon
  The perfect embodiment of an ideal element.
• Raak - Morningtonium
  The very last element in the periodic table.
• Audience - *shouts, screams, generally goes wild for Raak*

This is the end of the line. There is no more.